Hearing: A passive process in which sound is perceived by the otherwise unexpecting ear.
Listening: An active process in which a subject gives attention to the sound entering the ear.
There’s a big difference between these two activities: hearing and listening. Our ear is always hearing things. Sound is always entering the ear. And yet, just because our ears hear something doesn’t mean we noticed it… or care about it. Listening is very different. When we listen, we are either trying to gather information or discern some sort of quality from the sound that we are listening to. We listen because—in some way—we care.
Conversations are part of the everyday relationship. Marital chats can include any subject ranging from whose turn it is to take out the trash to what is the proper way to raise a young human being. The thing is that, in these normal discussions, there is far more involved than the apparent topic at hand. Committed relationships expose the truth that our conversations in the present are really a reflection of our past experiences with the topic… and ALL of the emotions that come with it. In a conversation about trash, one person may be thinking about duty while the other is thinking about past neglect. When we hear in a relationship, we simply gather the facts of what a person says—taking out trash. But when we listen in a relationship, then we actively seek and give attention to the feelings that come with the facts, and it leads to far deeper connection.
A person can go to church every Sunday, read the Word, go to doctrinal classes, and even engage in doctrinal discussions. But a life well-thought-about does not necessarily correlate to a life well-lived. Just because we hear the Lord, doesn’t mean we listen to the Lord. It’s like the conversations in a relationship, just because we hear what the Lord says and are able to regurgitate doctrine, does not mean that we have listened to the love that the Lord is really trying to communicate to us.
Hearing for our ears is passive. Our will is not engaged. And the same goes for hearing in a relationship and hearing the Lord—our wills are not engaged and no true effort is given to try to improve the relationship. When we listen, though, we engage our wills. In a relationship, we listen for what a person cares about and why they care about it, and then we use that information to draw closer to them—and the same goes in our relationship with the Lord.