I recently had an unsettling interaction with a good friend, someone I've known for over thirty years now. We've done projects together, gone to school together, vacationed together, played games and sports together, argued, fought, laughed, grieved together - everything that makes for a happy, lasting friendship (and one that I’m not about to throw away). And then we got into a heated exchange, probably like many of you, about what's going on in this country, first while driving in the car together and then via numerous cell phone texts in the days that followed. We got into the nitty gritty about US politics, the government, morality issues, policy issues, the candidates running for office, etc. And it appears we did absolutely nothing to change each other's mind. Thankfully we agreed to disagree but even the "truce" felt unpleasant, unpeaceful, unresolved.
My reason for mentioning this interaction with my friend has nothing to do with politics. It has to do with the aftermath, the myriad of mixed feelings and emotions that are generated in us by the seemingly irretractable difficulties, conflicts and sadnesses we encounter in life. What does one do with all the ugly thoughts and feelings, the feelings of righteousness indignation, the feelings of being in the right (while everyone else is wrong), the feeling of being misunderstood, not listened to, ridiculed? Why are the feelings so strong? What would an angel do? As I was walking to the office to write this article two things came to mind: first, astonishment that I could get so worked up and second, what passage from the Writings could calm my nerves. With respect to the fist, I started cataloguing in my head as many of the thoughts and feelings I could remember being triggered by this political argument with my friend. I've already mentioned some of them. Here are a few others - anger, annoyance, resentment, frustration, ridicule, belittlement, dramatizing, catastrophizing, superiority.
The passage from the Writings that came to mind to help me calm my nerves is the same one I've seen numerous times in the homes of New Church folks whose loved ones have passed away. Sometimes the quote is scribbled out on a piece of paper and tucked inside the Bible of the deceased and sometimes it's been written in calligraphy and mounted in a picture frame in the bedroom. It begins with the words, "Peace has in it..." I'm not surprised this is the go-to passage for people who've experienced deep loss and pain, life’s arrows. The words are infinitely reassuring, calming, a reminder that the Lord will indeed lead to “green pastures.” It says, "Peace has in it confidence in the Lord, that He directs all things, and provides all things, and that He leads to a good end..." (AC 8455). This is just what I needed to hear.