Confidence, in the way I am using it in this message, means secrecy or privacy. It comes from the Latin meaning “with faith or trust.” Confidence means that certain information will not be shared outside of a certain circle of people. Some jobs, for example, the medical profession and first responders, are governed by laws that legally restrict what information can be shared and with whom. And even more delicate than medical information is our moral and spiritual information—the things we do and the reasons for which we do them.
Why the need for confidence? Well, to put it simply: we aren’t all angels. Works in progress that we are, we are apt to misunderstand or misuse private and personal information that comes our way. Additionally, like the game of Whisper-Down-the-Lane, the more information gets shared, the less accurate it becomes, and so the less factual it is. Practicing confidentiality stops the Whisper-Down-the-Lane in its tracks.
What information should be kept in confidence? We can’t really use ourselves as a barometer to answer this question, because some people are willing to share the deepest secrets of their lives, while others don’t want to share what they ate for breakfast. A basic guideline is to not share other people’s information that is of a moral or spiritual nature. Moral information is what society says to be right or wrong, and spiritual information is what God says to be right or wrong. However, it is especially when a person’s actions seem to be in the morally/spiritually “questionable” category that we should not be sharing information. Think of it like medical information: there is no issue sharing that a person is healthy, but doctors are not allowed to share anything about the ailments or problems their patients are experiencing or have ever experienced.
There are different ways to maintain confidence. The Fort Knox of confidentiality is to not share any private information at all, either names or facts. A second level of confidence might be to share the facts of a situation disconnected from the identity of the person. This is treacherous territory though, because the details of a situation will often betray who the individual is. I recommend sticking with the Fort Knox confidence.
And finally, an important thing to consider in the sharing of any information is our intentions. What is our purpose in sharing somebody else’s private information? And this reminds me of the three gateways that our words should pass through before they exit our mouth: is what we share with others kind, is it true, and is it useful…