We remember those who have given all for the sake of their country. We remember them for all the good that they have done during their lives, their high aspirations, their integrity, compassion, humor, and friendship. We remember the time spent talking, working, playing, and celebrating together. Our grief over the loss of connection is sharpened by the tragedy and heroism of their sacrifice, because the greatness of their love and character rises to the highest degree and evokes in us the most intense devotion and honor by the very acts which take them away from us. "Greater love has no one than this, to lay down their life for their friends." (John 15:13) "Surely we all love and remember people who were moved by a passionate love of country to fight against its enemies even to their death in order to free it from the yoke of slavery." (True Christianity 710)
When people do good not for selfish reasons but for the sake of their fellow citizens, their country, or their church, thus for their neighbor, they do good for the sake of goodness itself, and therefore for the Lord’s sake. Such people “are like soldiers fighting in battle for their country. During it they give no thought at all to their life, nor thus to their status or their assets in the world, which compared with what they are doing are of no importance to them" (Secrets of Heaven 9210:2).
We remember our heroes with grief, yet every memory is a promise for the future. “Every one of our states from infancy to extreme old age not only remains in the other life but even returns. When we relive them, they are identical to the experience we first lived through in the world.” (Secrets of Heaven 561) Every memory of our loved ones is stored up in the treasure house in our minds from which the Lord brings forth treasures both old and new in the next life. (Compare Matthew 13:52)
The Lord never desires war or suffering, but he allows it because such evils allow us to reach our fullest potential – to become heroes. For every hero there comes a time when the war will end; the heroism, though, continues to eternity. “Anyone who loves their country and out of goodwill does good to it will in the next life love the Lord's kingdom, for there the Lord's kingdom becomes his country. And anyone who loves the Lord's kingdom loves the Lord.” (Secrets of Heaven 6821)
We can remember our fallen heroes with grief and at the same time with gratitude, hope, and trust in the future the Lord desires for us all.