By Rev. Jeffrey O. Smith
Part of the process of repentance is to “make oneself guilty” for our sins. For a long time, I believed this to mean that we ought to make ourselves feel guilty. In other words, I should feel bad and feel shame and think that I am the worst of the worst. This idea of guilt would make sense in our culture and in how we approach our relationships. The way it seems to work in many relationships is akin to eye-for-an-eye retribution, so that, if I am hurt, the perpetrator ought to feel as much hurt as I experienced. We even see this bear out in our legal system where a victim can be compensated for emotional suffering.
So, is this what the Lord wants? Does he want us to and instruct us to feel bad for our sins and mistakes?
There is a difference between what the Lord makes use of and that which He wants for us. The Lord does make use of our feelings of guilt and shame to lead us out of our darkness. When we feel bad for what we have done, the Lord can utilize those unpleasant feelings to inspire us to leave that old life behind and move toward a happier one in Him.
With that said, just because the Lord makes use of unpleasant feelings doesn’t mean the Lord wants us to have them. Feelings of guilt, shame, stupidity, or unhappiness are not from the Lord, and the Lord does not give them to us.
In the process of repentance, the guilt that is referred to is more of a feeling of responsibility. Making ourselves guilty of our sins means that we acknowledge our part in committing them.
Applying this distinction of guilt can be important for ourselves and for our relationships. For ourselves, it can help us remember that God does not demand retribution or suffering for things we have done wrong. The Lord wants us to change, and He wants us to be happy.
For our relationships, removing the need for our own retribution allows us to see our neighbors—even those from whom we experience hurt—not as villains who need punishment, but maybe as hurting souls who need love in the form of help. Sometimes that help may take form as correction when necessary, but we can approach that correction with compassion instead of revenge in the heart.
So, a guilty conscience can be a useful experience through which the Lord leads us from hell to heaven, but it is only useful insofar as it leads us to working with the Lord to real life change.